i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
