She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
