Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
