Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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