i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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