I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
