The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
