Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
