Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
