I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
