At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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