They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
