Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
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