we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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