He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
