; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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