Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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