I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
