Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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