i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
