the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
We're not piercing ourselves today.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
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