Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
