so that wasnt chicken after all
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
