I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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