..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
