Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
