dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Found the puke drawer
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
