He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
