i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
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