So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
