My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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