Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Randomize
