The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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