Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
