Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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