he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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