He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
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I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
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We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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