you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
