Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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