Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
