Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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