i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Its about making memories worth repressing
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Randomize
