ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
i now understand why vodka
Sorry about my life...
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
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