That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
