I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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