Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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