Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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