My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize