Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize