please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
