i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
