we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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