she was so not down for the gang bang
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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