I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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