Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
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