im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
So here I am, sexting at work.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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