So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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