sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
There's even glitter on my cock...