I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
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