Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
