next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
i will never coherently bang her
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
