I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
