So drunk its hurt
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
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