Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Randomize
